There was a thing i had with DEER. started feb 16th and went till may 12ish i think. Then off and on all summer. She cheated on me and didnt think we had a relationship. whatever. We still made out a lot. My parents freaked out and grounded me when they found weed from her. I didnt see her for a while. Then started school and we started seeing a little more of eachother. we just fit well. like, we knew each others bodies well but not personalities.
About 3 weeks ago i asked her outright if she liked me or not. and she responded, “No.” and i knew, in my heart, she didnt like me.
So i tried to let her go. And i started realizing, it was really really hard. I cared about her A LOT. and she really only cares about getting high and getting drunk. that, everyday, is her one goal. really depressing if you have codependent tendencies (me).
anyway, saw her in town a lot today. and i just CRAVE her. finally at the end of the day, i was sitting on the bench on state st. and she just comes up to me and tries to kiss me. and i turned away. I said “no. You dont LIKE me, remember?” and she walked away. see, I tore my own belly apart. because it’s not fucking good for me. i love her, she doesnt love me. and in my brain, i know i need, deserve, someone better. But no one has come along and i feel like shit. and very confused. and of course, like always, i miss her. I want her.
About 3 weeks ago i asked her outright if she liked me or not. and she responded, “No.” and i knew, in my heart, she didnt like me.
So i tried to let her go. And i started realizing, it was really really hard. I cared about her A LOT. and she really only cares about getting high and getting drunk. that, everyday, is her one goal. really depressing if you have codependent tendencies (me).
anyway, saw her in town a lot today. and i just CRAVE her. finally at the end of the day, i was sitting on the bench on state st. and she just comes up to me and tries to kiss me. and i turned away. I said “no. You dont LIKE me, remember?” and she walked away. see, I tore my own belly apart. because it’s not fucking good for me. i love her, she doesnt love me. and in my brain, i know i need, deserve, someone better. But no one has come along and i feel like shit. and very confused. and of course, like always, i miss her. I want her.
